It's strange, so strange that I sit here and I think, what will I write? What should I say? There are times during the day when I think wow, I could just go on about whatever it is that popped into my head at that time.
What is it about a blog which makes me feel nervous about someone else reading it? When I read my first few they kinda feel so disjointed in ways, like I'm self concious. Which, to be honest, I really am in more ways than one. It's almost like there are moments of "forced" things just because I should write something? Does that make sense? It does to me.
I read other blogs, just a few that I follow, and I love reading them. I look forward to reading them and what they say.... wow, it's like, is that how I should be doing it? It's almost like they are just speaking to me, I get it, I understand it, I agree with it. Is that how it's supposed to be? Are they writing for them or for others? Am I writing for me or for others? I kinda think that it's for me, and perhaps someone else might appreciate what I'm saying, feel it, think it, live it. Get it? Ahhh why do I seem or feel so concerned about what someone else might think of what I say? Hell, there's a great chance I wouldn't even know them, so who really cares, right? ARGH!!!! I guess for a part of it for me is that hmmm I want to say something that's meaningful, but you can't just force that, you can't just go, right, I'm going to talk about this... and force it out. Well, you can, but that makes it harder, I just want to "talk". So, I guess that's what I'm going to attempt to just do.
Still, for now, this is all not shared with anyone, perhaps one day I'll have the courage. Until then, it's just me, you and well... this little wall of space in the bigger space of the internet world lol.
